The Bickerstaffe Record

The world beyond West Lancashire

Launch of exciting new pressure group

02.27.09 | Comment?

After extensive consultation carried out over several blog minutes yesterday, Cllr Bob Piper (well-known for his work as Cllr Bob Piper) and the Bickerstaffe Record are pleased to announce the launch of our new pressure group: The National Local Councillor Coalition for the Abolition of Pointless Debates and Conference which Destroy your Soul (or, as it will often be called for short, Beer Fund).

 Cllr Piper, speaking by internet thing from his HQ in Sandwell said: ‘ I am delighted to be involved.  Now please sod off and let me get on with more important things.  It’s my blog’s 5th birthday and we’re all going out on the lash.’

Membership fees are likely to be on the high side, because both Bob and Paul Cotterill – the other founding anti-conference whingebag, both quite like beer and cricket, and it’s the Ashes coming up. 

The benefits of membership, however, are huge, as members will simply not need to go to conferences and conventions and such like, where they just get told stuff they know already, listen to know-it-alls in the audience sounding off at length about the same thing as they did at the last conference, and where no decisions about what to do about anything are ever taken. 

Conferences and meetings where something’s actually going to bloody well get done will be exempt from attack by the new pressure group, and will be able to apply for a ‘Paul and Bob’s Actually Doing Something Kite Mark thing, after a rigorous testing process of some kind.

We welcome prospective internships, whereby young people keen to make their way in the political world are apparently happy to be totally exploited by old duffers, and more or less run things single-handedly before naively handing over the proceeds.  Applicants should send a CV and a 300 word essay on why Sidebottom is a better bowler than Harmison, to Bob or someone.

End of announcement.

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